How To Answer Tough Questions About Your Acting Career During The Holidays

Spencer Glass, coach and actor, shares tips in combating difficult questions that are sometimes asked during the holidays. Check back monthly for more actor wisdom from Spencer. 

No one knows what it's like being an actor until you're an actor. And we all know that being in show business is layered, and the identity of an actor doesn't just come from physically being on stage or set. The holidays can feel hard for a myriad of reasons, one being the various conversations around your acting career. I used to believe folks back home were against me, and thought my life in New York City and my dreams of being on stage was a joke, but really, they genuinely just didn't have a clue on how the industry worked.

We tend to get cornered by someone around the holidays, and we're asked questions like "so what's next?", "are you in a show?", "have you been on Broadway yet?", or "how do you make money". The interactions feel invasive, unfair, and overwhelming, and also questions we ourselves wouldn't ask if the roles were reversed.

Before we go deeper, let me just say this: you don't owe anyone an explanation as you're passing the lasagna around the table. The urgency we feel to have "perfect" responses around our career is way more work than we signed up for. Let's discuss answers to popular holiday questions actors get asked, and how to overall feel a little better going into the holidays. 

1. "So what's next in your career?"

Deep breaths. Just like we don't know the in's and out's of being an accountant, they certainly don't know the 411 of being an actor. Therefore, people outside of our industry don't understand that auditioning is our job. Auditioning, usually, is what's next. I used to freeze upon answering this, or would manufacture a response of white lies trying to make myself look "better". Now, I'm just honest and talk about my work. Try saying, “I’m about to be hit with audition season in the next few months, so I’m prioritizing prep time and getting materials and myself together. Audition season for actors usually takes place between January and May, and it's a very busy and exhausting few months. I'm relieved to have the holidays to take a beat". 

2. "When Are You Gonna Be Famous?"

I *know* this comes from a good place when it's asked, and though it's a poorly worded question, this person probably is rooting for me even though I want to melt. I used to think it was a dig, but at the end of the day, they most likely just want to see me shine (but again, it stings). Fun story- I was asked this question once and decided to answer by just re asking that person. Didn't go as planned, since they responded "well I'm not the one who's the actor". ....Oy. Try answering like this, "that's not necessarily a goal for a lot of artists. Limelight, of course, feels nice, but I'm focused on making relationships, producing strong work, and trying not to be overwhelmed by the idea of having a name". It's a career path that isn't a linear experience". 

3. "How Do You Make Money?"

This is hands down the worst question, and incredibly inappropriate. This question is haunting, and I can’t believe people have the audacity to say something like this. It immediately brings up shame and discomfort, but I want you to shut down the question with a boundary before you feel any negative feelings about yourself. This holiday season, we're not letting misinformation and family ruin our spirit or put a damper on our artistry. Try saying, “I’m way more interested in catching up than discussing finances”. Not recommended, but I have also answered “I’m doing fine. How are you feeling financially with work?”. I'm really sorry if this has happened to you- I know how hard you work to keep your dreams alive, and it's no one's business how you pay your bills. 

4. "How's the Acting Thing Going?"

This question always makes me feel like my career is a cute side project that I started with a buddy from high school. Immediately, I very nicely reply "you mean my career?". This is a gentle way of telling someone that what we do is serious. A longer response can be, “it’s a zig zag industry, so some days feel really tough and other days feel really strong. I’m making it work, and am excited for 2025 and all the announcements of upcoming projects and auditions". Would we ever ask a doctor "how's the medical thing going?". Assert yourself, and let people know you mean business. 

Something I always remind myself of during the holidays is that I'm following a dream. Whatever questions may arise, I know that most people don't actually chase something that feels divine and special. Because following a dream is taboo, THAT is why we're asked uncomfortable questions. It's as if people aren't used to being around that. Your decision to do what you love, while fighting tooth and nail, is remarkable. It's already a career full of rejection and anxiety, and you don't have the energy for uncle joe to make you pull your hair out. Use the above script to make the holidays a little easier, and just remember, you don't need to justify your career decisions and dreams. You got this. Happy holidays!